Dinner for one

James: Good evening, Miss Sophie, good evening.
Miss Sophie: Good evening, James.
James: You are looking very well this evening, Miss Sophie.
Miss Sophie: Well, I am feeling very much better, thank you, James.
James: Good, good...
Miss Sophie: Well, I must say that everything looks nice.
James: Thank you very much, Miss Sophie, thank you.
Miss Sophie: Is everybody here?
James: Indeed, they are, yeah. Yes... They are all here for your anniversary, Miss Sophie.
Miss Sophie: All five places are laid out?
James: All laid out as usual.
Miss Sophie: Sir Toby?
James: Sir Toby, yes, he's sitting here this year, Miss Sophie.
Miss Sophie: Admiral von Schneider?
James: Admiral von Schneider is sitting here, Miss Sophie.
Miss Sophie: Mr. Pommeroy?
James: Mr. Pommeroy I put round here for you.
Miss Sophie: And my very dear friend, Mr. Winterbottom?
James: On your right, as you requested, Miss Sophie!
Miss Sophie: Thank you, James. You may now serve the soup.
James: The soup, thank you very much, Miss Sophie, thank you. They are all waiting for you. Little
drop of mulligatawny soup, Miss Sophie?
Miss Sophie: I am particularly fond of mulligatawny soup, James.
James: Yes, I know you are.
Miss Sophie: I think we'll have sherry with the soup.
James: Sherry with the soup, yes... Oh, by the way, the same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?
Miss Sophie: Same procedure as every year, James. Is that a dry sherry, James?
James: Yes, a very dry sherry, Miss Sophie... very dry. Straight out of the cellar, this morning, Miss
Sophie.
Miss Sophie: Sir Toby!
James: Cheerio, Miss Sophie!
Miss Sophie: Admiral von Schneider!
James: Ad... Must I say it this year, Miss Sophie?
Miss Sophie: Just to please me, James.
James: Just to please you. Very good, yes, yes... Skol!
Miss Sophie: Mr. Pommeroy!
James: (in falsetto voice) Happy New Year, Sophie!
Miss Sophie: And dear Mr. Winterbottom!
James: (in a deep voice) Well, here we are again, old lovely...
Miss Sophie: You may now serve the fish.
James: Fish. Very good, Miss Sophie. Did you enjoy the soup?
Miss Sophie: Delicious, James.
James: Thank you, Miss Sophie, glad you enjoyed it.
James: Little bit of North Sea haddock, Miss Sophie.
Miss Sophie: I think we'll have white wine with the fish.
James: White wine with the fish? The same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?
Miss Sophie: The same procedure as every year, James!
James: Yea!
Miss Sophie: Sir Toby!
James: Cheerio, Miss Sophie, me gal.
Miss Sophie: Admiral von Schneider!
James: Oh, must I, Miss Sophie?
Miss Sophie: James, please!
James: Skol! Clicks heels together and again reacts in pain.
Miss Sophie: Mr. Pommeroy!
James: Happy New Year, Sophie gal!
Miss Sophie: Mr. Winterbottom!
James: You look younger than ever, love! By gum, you look younger than ever, luv, younger than
ever! Ha, ha, ha...
Miss Sophie: Please serve the chicken!
James: Ya...
Miss Sophie: That looks a very fine bird!
James: That's a lovely chu... chuk... chicken, that I'll tell you, a lovely...
Miss Sophie: I think we'll have champagne with the bird!
James: Champagne, ya... Same, same prosheeed-ure as last year, Miss Sophie?
Miss Sophie: The same procedure as every year, James!
James: Sophie, me gal...
Miss Sophie: Admiral von Schneider!
James: Must I, Miss Sophie?
Miss Sophie: James!
James: Schkol!
Miss Sophie: Mr. Pommeroy!
James: Happy New Year, Sophie, gal...
Miss Sophie: Mr. Winterbottom!
James: It's one of the nicest little women... hic... one of the nicest little women, that's ever breathed,
that's ever breathed... I now declare this bazaar opened! So forth...
James: Would you like some fruit?
Miss Sophie: I think we'll have port with the fruit!
James: Oh, no! Sa... same procedure, sa... same procedure as last...
Miss Sophie: Yes, the same procedure as every year, James!
Miss Sophie: Sir Toby!
James: Sugar in the morning, sugar...
Miss Sophie: Admiral von Schneider!
James: Schkol!
Miss Sophie: Mr. Pommeroy!
James: (Spills glass) I'm sorry, Madam, sorry. (Scoops the spilled port off the table cloth into his
glass and drinks.)
Miss Sophie: Mr. Winterbottom!
James: Huuhh, I'll kill that cat!
Miss Sophie: Well, James, it's been a wonderful party!
James: Well, it's been most enjoyable.
Miss Sophie: And I, I think I'll retire.
James: You're going to bed? Sit down, I'll give you a hand up, Madam.
Miss Sophie: As I was saying, I think I'll retire.
James: Ya... ya, ya. By the way, the same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?
Miss Sophie: The same procedure as every year James!
James: Well, I'll do my very best!

Dinner For One

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